There will be no more Horrible Horoscopes. For reasons I won’t go into, they are no more.

Throughout my week, Horrible Horoscopes were always the stupidest, most senseless things I wrote. Which made them the most fun. I don’t think there was ever a large appeal for them, but I made myself laugh…

Above are a few excerpts from the most popular Horrible Horoscopes. Oftentimes, the ones that got the most hits weren’t the wittiest or most well written. The most popular ones were the ones with the best images. Sexist photos of scantily clad women always did well, but a few images surpassed those. For example, the most popular image of the bunch was a screenshot of a man screaming his head off from the Judas Priest “Breaking the Law” video.

I will never understand why people will click on anything with a screaming man, but they do.

After awhile, writing these became mechanical. There were themes that came up time and time again: farts, hopelessness, anti-love…

Beautiful themes.

I will kind of miss writing these. 

But not really.