April 5, 2013

There will be no more Horrible Horoscopes. For reasons I won’t go into, they are no more.

Throughout my week, Horrible Horoscopes were always the stupidest, most senseless things I wrote. Which made them the most fun. I don’t think there was ever a large appeal for them, but I made myself laugh…

Above are a few excerpts from the most popular Horrible Horoscopes. Oftentimes, the ones that got the most hits weren’t the wittiest or most well written. The most popular ones were the ones with the best images. Sexist photos of scantily clad women always did well, but a few images surpassed those. For example, the most popular image of the bunch was a screenshot of a man screaming his head off from the Judas Priest “Breaking the Law” video.

I will never understand why people will click on anything with a screaming man, but they do.

After awhile, writing these became mechanical. There were themes that came up time and time again: farts, hopelessness, anti-love…

Beautiful themes.

I will kind of miss writing these. 

But not really.

March 26, 2013
HYE PISCES YA DUMMY READ YOUR HOROSCOPE DUH

HYE PISCES YA DUMMY READ YOUR HOROSCOPE DUH

March 21, 2013
Horrible Horoscopes: Roundup of all 12 signs & also hey look a dog pooping

Horrible Horoscopes: Roundup of all 12 signs & also hey look a dog pooping

March 19, 2013

5:26pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-EPaygf5nXo
  
Filed under: Leo Horoscope Horoscopes 
March 19, 2013
In this Horrible Horoscope, I basically tell Leo about post-apocalyptic movies…

In this Horrible Horoscope, I basically tell Leo about post-apocalyptic movies…

March 11, 2013
Love horoscope for all you sexy cancers out there ;)

Love horoscope for all you sexy cancers out there ;)

March 7, 2013

March 4, 2013
Horrible Horoscopes is back
not that it was really gone long (just a week)
READ & SHARE

Horrible Horoscopes is back

not that it was really gone long (just a week)

READ & SHARE

February 20, 2013
READ YOUR HOROSCOPE TAURUS OR YOU MIGHT DIE
okay, I admit it, the horoscopes I write have turned into ramblings that barely make sense or entertain.
whatever.

READ YOUR HOROSCOPE TAURUS OR YOU MIGHT DIE

okay, I admit it, the horoscopes I write have turned into ramblings that barely make sense or entertain.

whatever.

February 14, 2013
Happy Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day.